Dear Burned Out Black Girl,
I’ve spent more than a decade as a therapist, and much of my work has centered Black women who are exhausted from carrying, performing, overfunctioning, accommodating, and abandoning themselves to maintain the lives they’ve built.
Over the years, I started noticing patterns.
The same beliefs showing up underneath completely different problems. The same survival strategies following women into their relationships, careers, families, friendships, and even their healing.
That work eventually became my framework for understanding self-betrayal and what it takes to uproot it.
My clinical experience, the research I’ve studied, the patterns I’ve documented, and the stories Black women have trusted me with have given me a very particular lens.
I’m good at finding the thing underneath the thing.
And I think that matters right now because the internet is overflowing with advice.
Leave him. Cut them off. Set the boundary. Choose yourself. Heal. Rest. Be soft. Work harder. Stop caring what people think.
Some of it is useful. Some of it is terrible. And a lot of it strips complicated lives of their context.
So I created Ask Tyra.
A space where you can bring me the actual question. The complicated version. The part where two things can be true. The part where you’ve already done the healing and still don’t know what the hell to do next.
I don’t know everything, and I won’t pretend to.
But burned out Black women?
This is my work.
Ask Tyra is an advice and educational column for paid subscribers to Dear Burned Out Black Girl. It is not therapy, and it isn’t a replacement for having your own therapist when you need one.
It is a place to bring a question and get my perspective on what might actually be happening underneath it.
Real questions. Radical honesty. Thoughtful next steps.
Submit your question here:
