If you’re new here, I’m Tyra Steverson, LCPC, LPC, therapist, entrepreneur, speaker, and founder of 290 Therapy and Hustle & Heal, a community for Black women who are building and becoming.
And lately, I’ve been paying attention to what happens in my body between things.
Not while I’m working.
Not while I’m handling the problem.
Not while I’m sitting in the meeting.
But in the moments when technically, I’m supposed to be resting.
Have you ever watched a relay race?
The next runner doesn’t stand there peacefully waiting for the baton.
She’s watching.
Anticipating.
Measuring the distance.
Her adrenaline is already going.
And before the baton ever reaches her hand, she starts running.
That is what anxiety can make your entire day feel like.
You finish one client, one meeting, one task, one responsibility, but you never actually rest because your body is already anticipating the next handoff.
You may technically have thirty minutes between obligations, but instead of experiencing thirty minutes of rest, you experience thirty minutes of waiting for the next thing to begin.
That is a very different way to live.
You’re resting, but you’re still in the race.
This is what I’ve been noticing.
Sometimes the task is finished, but my body hasn’t gotten the message.
There’s another client coming.
Another meeting later.
An email I’m waiting on.
Something I need to remember.
Something that might need my attention.
So instead of putting the baton down, my mind starts preparing for the next exchange.
What time is it?
How much time do I have?
What can I get done before the next thing?
Did I forget something?
Maybe I should knock this out really quickly.
And there goes the break.
Not necessarily because I filled every minute with work.
But because I spent the break anticipating work.
Burnout isn’t only about how much you carry.
I think we talk about burnout as if it is exclusively a workload problem.
Sometimes it is.
But I also think we have to talk about what happens when your body never experiences a true stopping point.
Because even when nothing is actively being demanded of you, you can remain internally braced for the next demand.
That means removing something from your calendar might not automatically create rest.
You have to learn how to stop running when there is nothing currently asking you to run.
I’ve had to start telling myself:
That client is later.
That meeting is later.
Tomorrow’s work belongs to tomorrow.
If something happens, I will deal with what actually happens.
Right now, there is nothing for me to carry.
Put the baton down.
This has become one of my practices.
When something is complete, I want to let it be complete.
When I have thirty minutes, I want to experience those thirty minutes instead of mentally converting them into a countdown.
When the workday ends, I want to allow my body to leave the track too.
And yes, another baton will eventually come.
Another email.
Another client.
Another responsibility.
Another problem.
Life will keep life-ing.
But I don’t have to start running before the baton reaches my hand.
And I definitely don’t have to spend my entire life standing in the exchange zone.
Dear Burned Out Black Girl,
Maybe you don’t need to become better at carrying everything.
Maybe you need to practice recognizing when there is nothing in your hands.
That space between one responsibility and the next belongs to you too.
Sit down.
Eat something.
Watch TV.
Go outside.
Laugh.
Be present.
Do absolutely nothing for a minute.
Let your body learn that every pause is not preparation for the next demand.
Rest your case.
The next thing will come when it comes.
You can pick the baton up then.
Until then, get off the track.
Come Build and Heal With Us
If you’re a Black woman learning how to build a meaningful life without burning yourself out to maintain it, join us inside Hustle & Heal: A Community for Black Women Building and Becoming.
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