Dear Burned Out Black Girl,
Pinky Cole called bankruptcy a tool, and people started acting like they had never heard of such a thing.
During The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion, Phaedra Parks questioned Pinky’s perspective. “That’s a positive thing?” she asked.
Phaedra is an attorney. She knows bankruptcy is a legal tool.
Bankruptcy is not simply a public declaration that someone failed. It is a legal process created to help individuals and businesses address debt they can no longer manage under its original terms.
The United States Constitution gave Congress the power to establish bankruptcy laws. Chapter 11, the chapter Pinky filed under, allows people and businesses to reorganize their financial obligations and repay creditors over time.
That does not mean bankruptcy is free money or that financial decisions do not have consequences. It means the law recognizes that sometimes restructuring is more productive than forcing someone to lose everything.
That is what tools do. They help solve problems.
These systems were not created with us in mind
Bankruptcy was not created exclusively for white people, but it was developed in a country where most Black people were excluded from citizenship, property ownership, banking, credit, and wealth-building opportunities.
We were not sitting at the table helping design America’s financial protections.
For generations, white businessmen and corporations have used bankruptcy to restructure debt, protect assets, renegotiate obligations, and start again. They hire attorneys and accountants, study the rules, and use every legal protection available.
It gets called strategy.
But when a Black woman uses the same system, people expect a confession. They want tears, embarrassment, and a performance of shame.
Pinky refused to give them that.
She did not invent the bankruptcy code or create a special exception for herself. She used a legal protection that already existed and said the quiet part out loud:
This tool is available to me, so I am going to use it.
We confuse suffering with integrity
Black women are taught that being responsible means paying every bill, keeping every promise, saving every business, carrying every person, and honoring every commitment even when it destroys us.
We are praised for making a way out of no way, but rarely taught how the way actually works.
Meanwhile, people with power use lawyers, contracts, tax provisions, government programs, and bankruptcy protections to preserve what they can.
They understand that responsibility does not require volunteering to be destroyed.
This is bigger than bankruptcy.
Learn what tools exist.
Request the accommodation.
Take the medical leave.
Apply for the grant.
Use your insurance.
Hire the attorney.
Call the accountant.
Renegotiate the contract.
Restructure the business.
Get the medication.
Accept the assistance.
Stop letting shame block your access to legitimate support.
Pinky Cole’s story is not an instruction for everyone to file bankruptcy. Bankruptcy has serious financial and legal consequences, and anyone considering it should consult a qualified attorney.
The lesson is not that bankruptcy is always the right tool.
The lesson is that we should stop pretending it is not one.
Dear Burned Out Black Girl, you do not receive a trophy for choosing the hardest possible way to survive.
Learn the rules. Ask for help. Use the tool.
You are allowed to reorganize your life without treating the need to begin again as a character flaw.
If this resonated with you, subscribe to Dear Burned Out Black Girl for more conversations about healing, rebuilding, and creating a life that does not require you to suffer in order to prove yourself.
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"We confuse suffering with integrity" — whew!!!!!! I love how you put this. I was thinking the same thing but couldn't put it into words when I watched the reunion thank you!